Hello Cocksucker Motherfuckers! This Week I go to I see the Warren G (I think the G stands for Gag) at the Club of the Keys in the Hollywood. It also happened to be his birthday on this night, he turned 43, which also happens to be the amount of dicks the B-Real can fit in his mouth, hows that for a coincidence.
It was a cold night and the Warren set time was @12 midnight, so I decided to relax at home for a bit and keep my balls warm before I headed out around 10 to pick up Abdullah the Butcher(Markluv), plus there were 7 openers who weren’t worth the fuck (you guessed it right, it was a Sean Healy event). So I get to the Club of the Keys and I only paid 8 dollar again to I park my 98 Corolla that have the Dayton’s like the Menace II Society. I tell the parking jabroni something happen to my car, something gonna happen to you motherfucker! He tell me Sheiky Baby nobody is gonna fuck with your piece of shit. That was good enough for me.
As I walk to the Club of the Keys I notice that the Senen Dog was at the Rainbow (gay lounge) with the Russ, the Dougie, the Nasty Bags, the Keen One, the Cypress Hill lighting engineer who look like the Sick Jacken, the DJ Ice Cream or Starscream whatever the fuck his name be and about 15 guys from the CFFC, Cocksuckers Forever Forever Cocksuckers. I think they ride their motorcycles 2 on each bike, nuts to butts.
Anyway I finally get to the Club of the Keys, I tell the bouncer I’m on the guestlist and once again he tell me I’m not. I took my turban off and suplexed that Emil Matasareanu(google it) looking piece of garbage, put him in the camel clutch broke his back to he be humble old country way. The Russ had to come from the Rainbow to tell that fucking stooge that I was the fucking Legend! I dont think he heard him because I turned his lights the fuck off!
I walk into the club and noticed it was a decent sized crowd thanks to the Senior Citizen homes that let their residents stay out past curfew. I was hoping I didn’t run into abuela tonight. The last opening act of the night was on stage by the name of Illaborate Minds, Yeah I don’t know either. If this was wrestling they’d be jobbers, a bunch of Barry Horowitz motherfuckers!
It was time for the Warren G, the main event sort of. He came out and did tracks off his first album, and did a nice little tribute to the Nate Dogg. About half way through his set which I was enjoying, he brought out this piece of dumb dog shit worse then the Tito Santana who calls himself the “Problem” from Compton. He did this song called “we out here tryna function” which was exactly what my brain was trying to do at that moment. I had never heard of him, probably because I don’t stick dicks up my ass. After that the Warren came back and ended the night with Regulate. The Crowd loved it but then again half of them suffer from alzheimers so they couldn’t recall the shit they just witnessed prior to that. The show ended and I took my ass home while everyone else went to Denny’s and ordered off the senior citizens menu…..FUCK THE HOKE HOGAN!
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Javie Lopez is back at it.