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Philadelphia Gives Us the First “Disabled Rapper”



Philadelphia is the birthplace of America, and has been the source of many of the country’s innovations, such as the world’s first computer, the cheesesteak, and pooping in sewer grates.
According to Philebrity, the city of brotherly love has a new innovation: The first disabled rapper. Swizz Nix, who looks decidedly unlike hot chocolate, released a video for his song “Stapler (So Much Paper)” and has been getting attention for, among other things, his use of the n-word in the song’s chorus. The word in question is immediately followed by a clip from Chappelle’s show (“It’s Earl, nigga, I need your stapler!”), so perhaps it shouldn’t be taken too seriously.”
I had to know more.
I began my research the only place I knew a professional investigative journalist would begin: Facebook. A search revealed no fan page, which was odd. I soon found his personal Facebook page where I learned that his real name is Nick Bradley and… well, that’s about it. I have enough respect not to link to his personal Facebook page, but not enough respect not to post a screeenshot of it:
The ‘about me’ section makes absolutely no mention of music, instead listing equally impressive accomplishments such as “attending community college.” And then I found something a bit peculiar. We had 2 mutual friends! And they were both stand up comedians…
Is this thing a joke? Maybe Nick “Swiss Nix” Bradley knows somebody at Philebrity? Or maybe the whole thing is a stunt put together by Philebrity.
Further research only left me with more questions:
  • Wait–what’s up with that fake leg thing?
  • Wait–is that little girl wearing braces? What is she even looking at?
  • Wait–that’s a pretty cool boat in the background.
Now lets get to the disabled thing that’s plastered all over his official website. He has Arthrogryposis, which is a condition that results in curved joints. Last I checked, there are roughly zero joints in vocal cords (with similar amounts found in brains). In other words, it has no effect on his rapping ability. His disability is being used only as a gimmick. The Special Olympics are an inspiring institution. They give the differently abled a chance to excel and succeed. But rapping isn’t in the special olympics. Beethoven (THE DEAF COMPOSER) is an incredible feat. Swizz Mix (THE RAPPER WITH WEIRD JOINTS) is not.
Follow the author on Twitter @mattpasscomedy